In Her Own Words: Jade’s Journey
Hello, my name is Jade Jensen. I’ve been in custody here at Coffee Creek for about 5 years now. I am finishing my second year in the Coffee Creek Paraoptometric program and have spent the last year as the tutor.
A little about me, I grew up in a very small home, in a small town where everybody knew everybody. The store clerks knew the names of every child that would come into the store. All the kids knew the name of the fire chief at the fire station and the entire town joined in at the school Christmas carnival.
As a child you dream of growing up and becoming something incredible. Something bigger than the small world you are accustomed to. An Astronaut, a Police Officer, a Ballerina, or in my case an NFL star. I was a big dreamer. As you grow older you start to see how rare that is for those that were, like my family, poor, drug addicted, or unbeknownst to themselves, struggling with mental health problems. That in that time, in a small town was considered to be a weakness or an excuse. With every year that passes, your world starts to get smaller. As do your dreams.
As I grew older, struggles never stopped for our family. I’ve lived with family members, in a camper, a van, a homeless shelter, and even a tent all before the age of 13. By then I watched all of my older siblings start to lose sight of their dreams. I watched my mom struggle working full-time jobs and never reward herself. I lived through countless traumas that I thought I had to carry on my own and be strong because that’s what the women in my family had to do to survive. By middle school, I lost sight of any dreams I had once thought possible. I was born into a small world. Other people’s worlds were wide open. Other people had room to dream. Other people had options and opportunities. I had to fight to survive. At 12 years old I had to pray to a God that nobody else in my home believed in to please help me to stop crying myself to sleep every night.
Then at 13 I tried alcohol for the first time. That was it for me. My small world and few options got smaller and fewer. Eventually a dream to me was the flashbacks of my trauma that I would experience after I went to sleep every night and aspirations were non-existent. Before I was even 21, I knew the hours of all the liquor stores in my county better than I knew myself.
It wasn’t until my drinking landed me here at Coffee Creek that I even knew I had been struggling with mental illness. I spent a few years healing and getting to know myself before I even believed I could survive in a world without alcohol, but even after a few years, I still had no idea I was living in a box. The box I was born into. A box in which the walls were slowly built up with poverty, abuse, hopelessness, mental health illnesses, and shame. A box that made clear to me what my restrictions on life were. I couldn’t see past the walls to even realize I was trapped inside.
I joined the Coffee Creek Paraoptometric Program with the idea that if I could make it through, that maybe I could have an easier time getting a job when I released and maybe help to give sight to people less fortunate than myself. What I didn’t expect to happen is that I would be given sight. That the walls of the box I had been living in would expose themselves to me. That with time I would gain tools and confidence to tear down those walls and the colors of the horizon would bare themselves to me. Give me the ability to dream again, to have hope and gain confidence that those dreams are attainable.
I have so many thanks to give. So many of you have given so much to me by making this program possible and available. PCC, Ms. Shannon and the Lions Club. Thank you all so much. And to all of our volunteer speakers that have given us so much inspiration and knowledge. Pacific Artisan Labs, Rachel, Brandon, Heather, Jessica. Thank you, guys. Mr. Andrew Bruce. Thank you. You have given us so much of your time and shared so much knowledge with us and have given us so much confidence and laughter and you are such a joy to be around. Thank you for believing in us.
And finally… you knew it was coming…
Mrs. Mooney
She laughs when I tell her that she is my mentor, but I’ve never had anyone believe in me and strengthen me the way that she has. I am able to open up my soul to her and share with her my fears, my shame, and my ridiculous sense of humor. She gives us a place to grow, to feel human and to fail and try again. A safe place to let off steam, to get advice, strength and sometimes VERY tough love. But above everything else, she has given me TRUTH. She doesn’t sugarcoat or placate, but she is ALWAYS there. She will ALWAYS listen, and I know I can come to her with anything. Mrs. Mooney, you are my mentor and so much more. Thank you for EVERYTHING you have done and continue to do for all of us. You are so important and so appreciated by all of us.
